YEAR ENDS!!

Last post of the year.
Not able to believe how fast this year has gone by!

And obviously.......
looking forward to another belting year in the hostel, lots of traveling, and child bear( refer shine boards if dint get it!!!!)

Anyways, Everyone reading this, Happy New Year!! and hope you all have a great year ahead!!

WHAT A DAY FOR INDIAN CRICKET !!

Will go down as one of the most memorable moments in the history of Indian Cricket!!
They did it in Adelaide, in Windies and now in Johannesburg. This venue has witnessed two great matches. This one and the greatest ODI between South africa and Australia. What a performance!! You could only hope the country backs the team more from now on..............

HELPLESS......


It was 6:15 pm. i was on my way back home after another day of training.
I was really tired and was waiting for my bus at silk board when this small kid accosted me. She had disparity written all over her. She stretched her hand forward," bhaiya, please give me something. i've not eaten anything since morning."
I refused not understanding what to do. what could i tell her!!!???
She did not leave me. She started beating herself. I couldn't bear it any more.

"listen kid.....begging is not the solution. its not going to lead you anywhere. do something else. there are always means to earn a living".
But she did not understand. I guess i was far too optimistic.
I was stunned by her reply. "no i cannot. my mother has taken me for begging. I cant leave her . please give me something!!"
How could i tell her it was not the question of a couple of bucks. it was not going to solve anything. Begging is probably the worst thing that could happen to anyone.
Her so called "mother" looked on.
"Listen kid. try to understand what i'm trying to tell you. leave this. run away from your mother. there are so many schools for abandoned children. you can live a life that you dream every night on this footpath. trust me........this is going to solve anything. how long are you going to push yourself like this. Everything is in your own hands. run away from her!!"
She stood there but stopped begging from others.
I go into the bus as she strolled back.
the bus started moving.
The kid was getting beaten up by her "mother"
I wanted to get off the bus but the bus was moving fast now and i could not jump off.
I felt as if someone had just shot me with an AK47.
Felt emotionless for the rest o the day.
But I still ask myself......."did anything go wrong there??"
"Is there any bloody way to abolish begging!!??""

Director: Sunil Shanbag
Playwright: Ramu Ramanathan (translated by Chetan Datar)
My First Hindi play........ Initially I expected this to be a comedy.....the name sounded weird....and also one of the longest plays.........140 mins......
I had no clue about the history of the play....
But then, it was about the typical bombay lifestyle,the struggle,compromise, change, politics and culture in the eyes of kaka and bhausahab who were fighting for survival and their lost jobs.
Here's the synopsis :
Cotton 56 Polyester 84 is a gritty, true to life saga centred on ‘Girangaon’, Mumbai’s historical textile mill district. The text has been arrived at after months of research, which involved meetings with innumerable mill workers, their families, and union leaders. The drama of ‘Girangaon’ is played out by Kaka and Bhausahab, two mill workers, who spend their days at a local newspaper stand, recording their past. As they speak, a fascinating stream of characters flows past, each character adding a fresh dimension to the story. The play reflects Girangaon’s rich cultural heritage through live music in the best folk traditions. The play is hard-hitting, funny, and poignant. It will change the way one sees Mumbai forever.
Bhausahab is known to be a talented singer and brings out his passion for music often with stanzas in marathi and poetic hindi .....Also brings out a deep history of Bombay politics and the role of politicians and the mafia in the change of the city....
Again brings out lots of facts about bombay.
I've never been to this city!! But I've read quit a lot about this city and i'm not able to conclude anything about its contrasting cultures and life style.....
and I'm sure no one who's lived in the city also has been also to conclude anything about this amazing city....
I guess they just accept and move on.........
I dont know when i'll visit this place.......as I keep waiting...........

WHAT A RAPE!!!

Song: Taste of India (Aerosmith)
colour : Dark Blue
Honestly......was looking forward for some good test action this series........after a pathetic odi series......
The way Indians raped them was too much......
Dada back in the team and playing well...
VRV singh with his cameo.......
Sreeshant raping SA...
Laxman ...you know........as always stylish..
BCCI team selectors are a bunch of dickheads!!!!
They had ruined the odi team selecting arbit people!!!
lets see........hope some sense enters their brains now at least.....

REMEMBER SHAKTI


Just got my pass for Remember Shakti concert..

Dam neat.........
Just go and buy your tickets......
300 , 500 and 1000 bucks at any K.C Das outlet
Its ok...even if you have not listened to them...
the band line up is just too good to be true!!!!!

# John McLaughlin
# Zakir Hussain
# U. Shrinivas
# Shankar Mahadevan
# V.Selvaganesh

SILK BORED!!
Training at Ashok Leyland................


* I have to get up at 6 in the morning!!
God knows when i last got up at 6 like this........not even during exams.........

* travel on hosur road..................(trust me..it sucks!!!)

* I travel 100 kms everyday!!! (god!! there's a limit)

* My training is in Tamil Nadu!!!
That means I got to hang on to my tamil........which is just brilliant....

* people there thought i was a mall!!!! (bigger sob)coz i have long hair..........
(get a hair cut i say!!!)

* My cell's on roaming (Fuck!!)

* I'm not allowed to leave a minute before 4:30. Which means i cant get home before 7...(full day gone!! )
* if you think ashok leyland sounds decently ok...
All i can say is............ITS A BLOODY LORRY FACTORY!!!

MAKE YOUR OWN SOUTHPARK CHARACTER!!!

this thing is dam cool check it out !!
here.............................

I managed 2 of them..........................
too cool no!!!!

Hold on............
No Sugar............No Tea.............


Song : Hurricane (Bob Dylan)
Colour : Orange
Mood : Relaxed
Just got back home after a month...ha.....So.....a state of joblessness for another month.
got fresh......
mom: Guess what i bought today??? (looking full excited)

sud: what can it be??new clothes??? must be something interesting!! what??what??

mom: dont get so excited also!!! I had to buy an extra Kg of Sugar for my wannabe Diabetic son!! ( wicked shakuni smile)

sud: (all hopes crashed) ma........i've got saturated with those statements!!! dont worry.......you are probably the 1000th person telling me this........

sip..................sip...............sip....................

Its bloody 11 in the morning and i'm already through with 2 cups of coffee and 2 cups of tea and probably a quarter kg of sugar..........
i love this...i'm back home and getting back to form!!! ha!!
But i miss those two places.........pehelwan and krishna's and those expectedly eager requests.....................................
" tea/ coffee jotthe swalpa extra sugar"
wink!!!

SIGNING OFF!!

Song: Where purity lies(Shakil)
Mood: Awesome!!
just finished packing. gotta catch a bus in a while. Not able to believe how fast this sem's got over.and the bigger surprise are my grades!! been really good. I did well when i was least expecting myself to do a good job in these exams...
This sem's been too good to be true!
# Decent bit of traveling..........GOKARNA and Kudremukh
# lots of fun in hostel
# sis got engaged
# went back home most no. of times in these 5 sems.
# Good grades..
# Slept at least for 10 hrs before every exam.
# @@@@@@@@@........@@@@@@(figure it out!!)


Looking forward for some good plays at rangashankara.......
## awesome home food
## old friends

For now singing off from my room 247 block 7
"mama I'm coming home"

MOMENTARY LAPSE OF REASON

6 Days...6 Exams!!
Day in and day out...same old story..
I just finished the 6th one and crawled my way out of the exam hall.
Exams over.....sigh......
Suddenly everything around started sinking.
this was not the first time i felt like this.
Suddenly you feel you've become as cold as a serial killer.
like the mercenary preaching "nowhere to run nowhere to hide, you gotta kill to stay alive"
Yes. I had just killed another semester and here i am, alive and pushing myself forward.
No motives left.
Cold as Dry Ice.
No inspiration.
No incentives.
A Momentary lapse of reason.
Just fix a helpless gaze as hair all over your body try to pull themselves out denying they had never been bound to a person like me.
Exams over!!
Everyone's hugging each other like they had jumped over the Great wall of China. They were Ecstatic!!"Why shouldn't they be??!!!!Exams are over for god's sake!!"
A flood and a drought at the same time.
Which part did i belong to???
And your Vision starts to frame itself printing every word boldly i was chanting for the past few days.
What were they???
Perseverance??
Incentives??
Redemption??

Another NIGHT OUT?????

So...What have we got here??
Lord Pylorus has his end sems...
Interesting..

5.30 p.m : Enters the room feeling disgusted at his previous performance. Fully determined to smash the next exam the
next day.
SIGH!!!!
night out...No choice.......perseverance!!
looks at the clock.
I'm gonna start at 6!!
5.45 p.m : Gets his laptop out.
logs in. does some jobless shit for a while.
"I'm kinda tired. I'll sleep for a while and start at 6.30
ok...done..
6.30 p.m : gets no sleep.....restless..Fuck!!
off to pehelwan to fetch some tea!!!
7.00 p.m : not a good time to start. I anyhow got to go have dinner at 7.30. lets finish dinner and start.
FINAL!!!
8.00 p.m : finishes dinner........pehelwan............3 full teas........
8.30 p.m : Back to the room. "YES!! I'm finally going to start now!!"

studies something till 10.30.........................

10.30 p.m: "ok...i think i got a plan here....lets sleep till 2 and then study till 2 in the afternoon..
sounds great!!!"
goes to chubby,guru,shanky and asks them to wake him up at 2...at any cost!!
2.00 a.m : topless chubby, guru, shanky --"suddu...get up da!!"
suddu--"Fuck off!!!"
2.15 a.m : finally gets up. realizes there's no water in the bottle. fills up water and picks up his notes.
lies down and starts studying
3.40 a.m : alseep..........................................................

7.00 a.m : Fuck!!! not again!!! looks at his notes!! only 30% done.
7.30 a.m : Goes to illegal mess to fetch tea. plays some music.
7.45 a.m : Starts studying again!!
9.30 a.m : only 50% done. rest 50% not entering his head.
11.00a.m : Finally gives up!!!!! Fuck these exams!!! I got to go early and catch place!!!
11.50a.m : goes to illegal/legal mess to have lunch.
12.20 p.m: Enters class.Expects to find one person in class and he's there!!
"ah...here he is Mr roll no 1 and always a decade early to class!!"
12.30 p.m: tries to study. watches tensed guys enter class
1.00 p.m: watches some more tensed guys enter class!!
1.30 p.m: closes the book!!"what can anyone study half an hour before exams??!!"
2.00 p.m: Exam starts.
gaze..........
everyone's writing........
gaze................
.
.
start i say!!!!!
fudge...fudge...fudge....
5.00 p.m: gives the paper back with the same air of disgust!!!
5.05 p.m: walks out...everyone's discussing. "Fuck them!!"
5.20 p.m: enters illegal mess to fetch some tea.
5.30 p.m: Enters the room feeling disgusted about the previous performance.
"Dude...i'm gonna smash tomorrow's paper..just watch!!"
no choice...Night out!!!

CHEWING THE CUD

So........yet another cycle about to complete, and my 5th semester end sem exams are about to start tomorrow. Feeling a little weird. today wasn't like the day before an "end semester exam"!! at least my nerves would have tightened up making me aware of an exam tomorrow.
even they seem to have got tired of watching me build castles in the air.
But i don't know why I've been chanting that word the whole day as I'm desperately trying to focus myself - "PERSEVERANCE"
I closed my eyes.
Gave a positive nod,
"Perseverance".

DRIFTING
OM beach,Gokarna
28th October 2006

Where are you going
With the long face pulling down
Dont hide away like an ocean
But you can see, but you can smell and the sound
Of your waves coming down
I am no superman not at all
But I have no answers for you
I am no hero, and thats for sure
But I do know one thing
Where you go, is where I want to be
Where are you going?
(Dave Matthew's Band)

I paused the music.
Picked up the receiver
“Hello…..?????????”
“Hello……..??Can you her me…??”
No answer
“Hello…..???”
Again…no answer
I put the receiver back and strolled back to the shore. It was pitch dark. I could only hear the waves approaching and receding as the tide was rising. Sand slipped out of the gaps between my fingers as I tried to collect them. So was time. Every time we travel, we search for answers for the questions we were never able to decipher and questions for the answers we had found but never understood what the question was.
I lied down and closed my eyes..
Lines from the book I so badly wanted to read here seemed to fall in place

“Sooner or later, fate puts us together with all the people, one by one, who show us what we could and shouldn’t, let ourselves become. Sooner or later, we meet the drunkard, the waster, the betrayer, the ruthless mind, and the hate filled heart. But fate loads the dice, of course, because we usually find ourselves loving or pitying for all those people.
For this what we do. Put one foot forward and then the other. Drag our shadowed crosses into the hope of another night. And push our brave hearts into the promise of a new day. For so long as fate keeps waiting, we live on.
We live on.”
I dozed off as the song played on and on.

ON THE ROAD AGAIN……………

Oct 15th Sunday
Misty surroundings. Yesterday was one of the only days I was awake for 24 hrs!! You can call it an achievement if you the kind of guy who looks sleepy all day. I entered the bus unable to reach a conclusion after watching two contrasting films(Salaam Bombay-Mira Nair and Iqbal). Finally you stop thinking when there are too many thoughts clouding your mind.

I looked around. ‘Perfect silence.’


The sky was clear. Carrying a bag of thoughts, I guess it was the perfect day to travel.
I dint know where exactly we were going. Guess… it doesn’t matter. Actually, nothing matters as your thoughts settle down along the road as you breeze past them. Not just excitement but a sense of satisfaction surrounds you which can be nurtured for a long time.

Especially, after a couple of tormenting weeks.

Lot of shit had happened around me and I was stranded for space. Mid sem exams which seemed to drag on forever even though you knew you were going to get humped sometime or the other. And there were communal riots all around us!! I’ve picked up my pen many times to write about this but soon i stop writing, wondering “what more can I write about this??”
“Is it going to make any difference??” and I would refuse to write further. We’ve never been able to overcome history and we’ll never be able to overcome religion.




(Beautiful...isnt it!!!)



(hanumangundi falls!!)

To add a lot of fun to our journey, as always, there was music!! Journey and music go hand in hand because no one has ever been able to define these two completely.
They are like the waterfalls I was staring at. Too vast to digest yet you never get tired!!

Then the visit to pollution control dam in kudremukh. Hungry for water, the dam stretched out far till it met the hills which were trying to hide behind the clouds.
Oh my god!! This place is too beautiful to be true!! It would have looked even more beautiful if it was filled with water.
Never mind…still hard enough to believe that such a place actually existed.
(I.E junta at the trip)
Then the final drive back as I prayed the journey would never get over. We became a little more anxious as the driver was speeding through the clouds. I put my hand outside the window and water condensed on my hand. I quickly enqueued ‘High hopes’ to my play list. It was cold outside. The guitar solo in the song made me numb. I could hardly see anything outside as the bus maneuvered through the hair pin bends.
The bus finally stopped in front of final block. The whole outing was extremely tiring but very satisfying!! I got back to my room and I felt as if I’d slept all day, the journey was my dream and the assignment submission the next day had brought me back to reality!!

Same old story…...…….music plays on. Blank paper filled with crap. Back to the same hectic schedule!!

WHERE IS/AM THE/I HEADING????


“Dude…I worked so hard to get into this place and now I’m not able to understand I deserve this place or this place deserves me.” Somewhere inside those drunk eyes I completely understand what he meant. I guess we are most sensible when we are drunk surrounded with retrospections about the times and the people who actually made the difference, and you actually see the other side of the coin. All of us in our conservative self enclose ourselves within an empty room and become perfect dogmatists with “Dude…u cant do that!! Its wrong!!!” all around us and fail miserably in our quests to make “wrong” something absolute when there’s nothing absolute about it. Most of us think about being “absolute” relatively even though relative grading fucks our happiness!! Ah….now I could go on for another year about this. That’s why its ‘cyclic redundance’. Keep going over and over again hoping to find something new and just as we are about to find something new, you realize you’ve started all over again.
The clock showed 12.30 A.M. Oh!!! I have an exam today!! You’d look at the question paper and feel as if you’ve crapped a lot and with an air of satisfaction you turn on the tap and there’s not a single drop of water!! Fuck!! I’m so screwed!! Yet another day when you would say “principles and honesty can suck my balls!!” and you successfully photocopy your neighbor’s answer sheet.
Wait a second………I’m in my 5th semester!!!!???? So……..what have i done for the last four semesters??? Actually I don’t know if I’m supposed to insert a question mark or an exclamation mark.

A Heavy Note

I took a second look at the sheet of paper in front of me frantically searching for my identity on the paper which was a number. Sometimes we are worth numbers to be added or subtracted. We were on an inspiring mission to subtract one. For a second I was lost trying to regain my composure. For the past few days, I have been like the actor who had no clue where acting ended and life began. Like a plagiarist who is desperate to create something on his own. But the music played on and blank white sheets were filled with crap when my mind was praying for some sleep.
I took a third look at the sheet. So many signatures down the line and here’s the one which seemed to have some value. I smiled, kissed the lucky chain and my pen flowed over the paper hoping for a positive outcome. A tribute to M2…..R.I.P Karanth!!
The verdict went the other way. Sometimes we run out of options. All we can do is forget and forgive!!

AUGUST 7th……………Never gonna forget this Date!!
A MEETING BY THE RIVER

I washed my hands clean to continue walking ahead. But I guess, I will never be able to wash the stain left behind. We get so satisfied by washig our hands off so many events and suddenly you are left filling up empty spaces when you come across a stranger. I met him yesterday. A Perfect Stranger. Time was intoxicated and I was swinging from my past to the future hanging on to my present. I couldn’t explain why there was so much imbalance but ll I could do was view everyone through those ‘rose framed glasses’ and exclaim “He’s the last person I ever hoped to meet!!”.
You walk ahead trying to forget he had ever been a part of your life but again, he’s left back those empty spaces to fill up and I guess I gotta pick up the broken chips and walk ahead. So……I still prepare….prepare to meet many more familiar and unfamiliar faces who will payme a visit like the passing clouds. I guess its true—“Life is just another dream..”

" OH GOD!! EVEN BUTCHERS ARE NOT SO HEARTLESS!!!!!"


My heart stopped pumping blood for a second.The remote control fell off my hand.I couldnt believe what i had just seen.i had read something similar in 'A Fine Balance' but i always thought that such a thing happened only during the Emergency Period.
I stared at the TV as CNN IBN exposed how doctors amputate healthy limbs for money.This is all a part of the 'BEGGAR MAFIA'.The mafia brainwash the poor for some money and get their legs amputated so that they could beg.Beggary was banned in 1969 but just see how cruelly its still being practised.And to support the mafia are the doctors who amputate healthy legs. They are not doctors.They are worse than butchers!!making a mockery of the profession which is still said to offer much more than any other profession.How can people be so heartless!!!
I hope strongest action is taken against these doctors!!!I've been a firm believer in what gregory david roberts discovered in india-"There is no heart like an indian heart".But I've discovered some routhlessly heartless people among them!!God....Save our Nation!!

A FINE BALANCE
Rohinton Mistry

O call me and I
Will quench your thirst for water.
But who on earth,can grant
My parched eyes' desire?



Will definitely go in as one of the best books i've read!!Based on how people suffered during the emergency period,the author brings out the suffering in the eyes of these 4 characters-Ishvar,Om,Dina and Maneck.The book is slow in the beginning but gets very interesting through the novel.The story setup leading to the future of the characters is pretty unbelievable!! You'll read this book and realise how dramatic a book can get and the characters still in my mind i ask only one question while retrospecting every single event in this book.... "What If??"

"Lost in ICELAND"




I've been waiting for some good plays since the start of holidays.Happened to catch up with a good one on Tuesday.This was from a famous theatre group from chennai called Evam.They are mainly known for their slapstick comedy and well formatted scripts.
Art was no different.Cant say the play was an outright comedy but it did have much more than just entertaining the audience for 90 mins.
So,we had 3 characters "Serge,Marc,Yvan" with contrasting personalities and "The Anthreos" painting which forms the backbone of the script.And yes..How can i forget the filler "baby chubby" who seemed to play the music with his wand between two scenes during the change of props.Serge and Marc have been facing a lean patch in their relationship but it falls apart when Serge displays the painting.Serge has paid 200,000 franc for it and Marc writes it off as "piece of shit!!".Marc had been influential in moulding Serge who now thinks he is 'past his time'.And we have Yvan who forms the comical character and inspite of his terrible family problems hangs between these revolting personalities hoping for a compromise and ends up exposing his own emotional weakness.
We only have a vague idea of the painting which Marc describes as"a white painting with white lines!!".The script finally opens up when the two agree for a compromise with a trial period and ends with Marc describing the painting.
I'm too tempted to reveal what the painting actually contained..but there wont be any excitement or suspense left about the play.But,when your hear what actually the painting implied,your heart stops for a second and the only thing you crave is to be a part of the painting and everything else around seems insignificant!!!!

GHOSH!!!!!!!!!!!


Dont remember how I landed up with this info...check this out!!its pretty mindblowing!!
Actually dont bother if its true or bogus....but its freakin' hilarious!!!
oh..my..god..pretty funny!!
NEHRU DIED OF TERTIARY SYPHILIS-AORTIC ANEURYSM NEHRU DYNASTY GHIYASUDDIN GHAZI (Name changed to GANGA DHAR to escape British army). His son was MOTI LAL NEHRU
MOTILAL married and his first wife and son died at childbirth.
MOTILAL and his second wife THUSSU (name changed to SWAROOP RANI) had three children
THUSSU with MOBARAK ALI (Motilal's Boss) was the first son JAWAHAR LAL NEHRU (he was circumcised).
MOTILAL AND THUSSU had two daughters by name NAN (also called Vijaya Lakshmi) & KRISHNA.
MOTILAL had also two bastard sons out of Muslim women by name SHEIK ABDULLA &SYUD HUSSAIN.
VIJAYA LAKSHMI eloped with SYUD HUSSAIN (half brother and sister) and had a girl CHANDRALEKHA
VIJAYALAKSHMI MARRIED R.S. PANDIT and had two more girls NAYANTARA & RITA
JAWAHARLAL NEHRU married KAMALA KAUL (marriage never consummated)
JAWAHARLAL had an affair with SARADDHA MATA (assumed name) and had a son given away to an orphanage in BANGALORE
JAWAHARLAL had an affair with LADY MOUNTBATTEN but no children
JAWAHARLAL HAD MANY AFFAIRS and in the end died of SYPHILIS
KAMALA KAUL had an affair with MANZUR ALI (who is son of Mobark Ali who fathered Nehru also) and their daughter is INDIRA PRIYADARSINI NEHRU
KAMALA KAUL had an affair with FEROZ KHAN (son of Nawab Khan who supplied liquor to their house) but no children
INDIRA was found in the bed with her GERMAN TEACHER at Shantiniketan
INDIRA PRIYADARSINI nikhahed as per Islamic rites FEROZ KHAN after converting herself to Islam. Her new name was MAIMUNA BEGUM and both had changed their name to fool the public of India on the advice of Ghandi by an affidavit in a court to INDIRA GHANDI and FEROZ GANDHI
INDIRA and FEROZ had one son by name RAJIV GHANDI (as per Islamic rites he was circumcised)
INDIRA had an affair with MOHAMMED YOUNUS and had a second son SANJIV GHANDI (later the name changed to SANJAY GHANDI to escape prosecution in UK for car theft. He was circumcised as per Islamic rites)
INDIRA had an affair with M.O. MATHAI (Nehru's steno) and a son was aborted
INDIRA had an affair with DHIRENDRA BRAMMACHARI but no children
INDIRA had an affair with DHINESH SINGH but no children
FEROZ had an affair with TARAKESWARI SINHA
FEROZ had an affair with MEHMUNA SULTANA
FEROZ had an affair with SUBHADRA JOSHI and many others.
RAJIV GHANDI converted to a Christian Catholic and changed the name to ROBERTO and married the Italian Catholic Christian by name SONIA MAINO (Sonia Maino was on the pay roll of KGB, the Russian spy agency which presented her in front of Rajiv Ghandi) and had one daughter and one son by name BIANKA and RAUL. For the Indian public these names are presented as PRIANKA and RAHUL.

The Womanizer was after ladies and even had an illegitimate son who was left with some christian missionaries. One of the reason for the free run for the christian conversion through out India and in North East particularly was that the christians could blackmail Nehru with exposure. Eventually this womanizer died of TERTIARY SYPHILIS-AORTIC ANEURYSM!!
Looks like a lot of shit!!!!!!!!but shit happens....and we dont care!!

TASTING THE OLD FRENCH WINE

"Real vs Barca"!!!I couldnt miss this one.You dont get to watch such matches everyday.The clock showed 10.30 A.M."big shit!!",i hardly cared what was about to hit me in another 3 hrs.And before i could admire a Zidane backheeler the t.v was switched off. Thanks to my mom!!"Do you have any sense.You have your board exams at 2.30 and you are sitting and watching football!!God knows when you are going to realise!!".So i had to get back to my books grumbling about my luck and destiny!!!
My mom was possibly right.I dont know when i'm going to realise. But the question that follows is "realise what??"And i dont think i'll ever be able to realise this!!
The only way i could convince myself that i could prove myself when it was necessary.Who's going waste energy unnecessarily!!
Some of it is unforgettable.I used to feel proud about myself being very clever when i used to hide my answer papers from my parents in my 6th and 7th stds and show it to them just before the parents-teachers meeting.And somethings never change-"Getting belted in exams".ya..i know things have changed from the board exam times.But its sometimes funny to keep a track on our mindset going into each sem.Every semester i proudly proclaim " see da..this time i'll slog and get a 9!!"and how convieniently they drop by the end of the semester and we stare down at ourselves,"not again da!!!"

"COMPROMISES"thats the word we stand firmly against but yet rest on it.Down the line no one knows how many compromises one has to make. But all of us fly on those wings of wax to reach the sun....

COMING BACK TO LIFE..


He laughed. “My lips are like a train”, he exclaimed. The room looked semi mystic with rings of smoke around him. I was there as usual, silent, wondering if it was necessary. What did Lin say?? That was the unspoken but implied and unavoidable question everywhere in India. When he understood that, many characteristically perplexing aspects became comprehensible from the acceptance of sprawling to the unashamed escapism from reality. I was still searching for an answer. But, the problem arises when things slowed down to reality. It was probably too slow to handle. He did not know where destiny was taking him. He was sleepwalking through his life. The frustration had to end somewhere. He would often look back and feel miserable at his present state. All these thoughts again leading to a never ending question, the same question Prufrock had to face when he was about to propose to the lady, ”Where do I begin??”
Finally, the bottle was broken followed by the ultimate confession. He told me he was going to script a new chapter. A sense of satisfaction flows in when you hear something you always wanted to. I’d never seen my room so silent before. My roommate was glued to his computer. He looked paralyzed in front of the computer.
He was completely unaware of his surroundings.
Its sometimes funny, isn’t it? We keep digging to desperately find some inspiration within ourselves and suddenly a sense of realization passes by you and you fall short of emotions. The clock showed 11 p.m and it was time to go to N.C and get back to studies ,the sooner the better. With the mid-sems one week away, I had to answer the same never ending question “where do I begin??”