OBSERVATION

Song: Echoes of Dr King
Artist: The Flower Kings

Monday morning blues. You get into the bus with a heavy feeling wondering why work could possibly exist. sigh. But everything seems to be the same inside. Nothing seems to have changed. Familiar faces, Unfamiliar faces, Disinterested ones and engrossed ones. Its weird how things move on despite how so much could have possibly happened during the weekend. Some seemed satisfied that they had finally found a seat to grab a short nap or engross themselves in a book. Some seemed to be busy in a phone conversation making a ballyhoo of it or trying to be very secretive in their conversation.
Bus journeys are weird. The tendency to standstill is more than to move ahead. Both for the Passengers and the bus I guess. I plugged in the earphones and looked out. Traffic jams. People randomly frustrated in road rage rather than slipping into their seats to wonder less about the road ahead. Everyone seemed to be in a rush to get somewhere eventually clinging on to a discordant mindset- "Whats the whole point?"
Why would i care so much. I'm waiting for Wednesday, October 1st.I'm going to hit the road again. After a while.
I'll probably look at everyone with a disdained mindset who go work while i'm feeling lazy on a hammock with a book in hand, sipping away every few seconds, casual conversation across the table, staring into the Arabian Sea. Ah..I love that feeling.

Routine

I just settled down, in a comfortable position and turned on the laptop. I hope this was the training room. For some reason, routines are weird. As much as we despise them, we are somehow comfortable setting into some kind of a routine. I opened the training schedule and logged into gtalk. "Inventory Management". The last 2 months have been tough.Always been in a position where i had to rush as soon as I get up without collecting my thoughts over a cup of coffee. I guess a peaceful cup of coffee is the least anyone can ask for as soon as you get up isn't it? But here, Its been like running for your life to catch the bus on time as soon as you get up. Get into the bus and my phone rings,"rosh calling...." Perfect sense of timing. Wonderful. Get to work, attend training till the end of the day, get back home, Rush to pump some iron, then sit online till midnight. Its always been like rushing for something at every point of time. I guess the phone calls have made the day simpler, let me settle through this phase.

I was exhausted today for some reason, no energy to attend today's training.
I closed my eyes.

Someone knocked. Without a second thought i said "who is it? Anand i'm sleeping da..."
"suddu, its me da, kashyap. I need headache tablet. I have a bad hangover"
"fuck..wait..even i'm not able to get up da."
I open the door, Kashyap walks in.
"Suddu, we need to book tickets da, There'll be lot of rush."
"whats the date today?"
April 23 rd da..
"Fuck..we'll see da..Tell shanky also,I dont want to think about it now. Too screwed in the head"
Light maadi.
"So, tomorrow night? done with college ah? Sigh"
"Something like that"
Over so fast? fuck. I can't believe it. I guess, things will move on. Get settled into a job, work->home->work. I guess I'll get used to the routine. May be I wont get used to the routine. But how does it matter. I don't have an option. Everyone's going to get scattered and busy with their own lives. And may be a drink a month also might not be possible.
Imagine waking up some morning and suddenly you realize you're in hostel,same room everything in its position,unchanged. You go to brush your teeth and as usual, no water. A trip to pehelwan or krishna's and get to g.b around 5ish and sit there till midnight. No tension whether you have to get up at 7 in the morning to catch the bus or travel 2-3 hours everyday.


Not going to happen.

I suddenly opened my eyes.
The instructor was looking at me. "Are you done?Shall we start the training?"
Sigh. Routine continues.

Work


Been a while since I've posted. I don't know. Finally I've started working. Hmm.. Got my first salary also. Not bad. A lot has happened over the last two months since I've posted. Yup, the nostalgia still continues with some frustration over my work! Anyways. I'm writing some PLSQL test at work now and yeah, continuing the good work from where I left off at surathkal. Fudging.

NOSTALGIA

I have been sick for a while. For a week I guess. Its been frustrating as I have been battling cycles of fever to find some sleep in a pool of sweat. I checked the temperature on the thermometer. it read 103F.
Sigh
I closed my eyes.
Suddenly, I wanted to go back. Go back to Surathkal for some reason. And I could possibly trade anything for it. I wanted to go back to room 206.For a day atleast.

Still finding it hard to accept that Chapter Surathkal is closed. I guess I'll live in this sense of nostalgia forever!
The nostalgia of :
# Sharing a smoke with Guru in my room as we watch a movie or an episode of Boston Legal
# Anand waking me up at 8 in the morning just to say "friends" and borrow toothpaste.
# Regular walk to Room 146 and 214.
# Trip to pehelwan and back 2-3 times a day
# 5-6 of us adjusting on kash's bed as we watch that '70s show or weeds.
# All of us taking K.G.B's trip as we watch his legendary video.
# Glancing into swamy's room just to find the expected- him rolling on the bed at all times of the day.
# G.B, Kalash and Akshaya Sessions. Oh, there are millions of those. Remember a couple of them
* A couple of rainy ones when kash, guru and I sat and discussed how important it was to come up with something new.
* Towards the end of the year, all of us pretty much in tears, Shanky telling us that we would be the first ones he would come to in his time of need and then he calls J.K up and pleads with him to accept us the way he does.
# Me going to sleep on Kashyap's bed on 22nd of april after he left.
# 24th April- 7:30 p.m
"Last smoke in Room 206 and I stare at the art work on the ceiling". My mind-- BLANK

FROZEN

I'm sure I'll fall short of words to describe my present state. I was precariously balanced surrounded by total imbalance! I looked around and my mind suggested chaos. Yet there's this uneasy feeling that things are going to be fine. And you suddenly see yourself perfectly balanced for both these consequences!
I still couldn't understand how the gypsy just seemed to stop in this position. The car had just ripped though a 100m stretch to take a wild turn. The car had tilted on its left wheels at about 60 degrees. And suddenly, the gypsy seemed to have stopped! I had probably just taken a leap off the car. I guess, time must have just stopped. May be I was not able to fathom this whole situation that i had moved into this comfortable mode of stopping things for my own convenience. Or..... was I wrong in thinking so much at this point of time? Most of us have this problem of thinking too much when its unnecessary and not thinking at all when the situation demands logic. I was sure no one would would ever be able to apply any logic to this situation.
I looked around again.
Frozen
How did this happen?
Is everything going to be alright?
Am I responsible for this situation?
My mind had never been so haphazard.

And suddenly as I was trying to settle myself into this more comfortable state, the car started moving again.
Crash

I guess the chaos part of it was true.

Utter chaos!

May be after a while, the guys around will forget this incident, but this frozen scene.............. is something I'll never be able to forget.